NEXT GENERATION

 Lieutenant Worf was consulting Counsellor Troi. 

"I made a foolish mistake, counsellor, and I wish to resolve the issue of my failure."

"Lieutenant: although at the moment you feel you have disgraced yourself, I can assure you the problem you present is not really to do with bridge at all."

"Is this supposed to comfort me, counsellor?"

"Not at all. I simply wish to focus you on to the problem at hand. Show me the deal."

The cards displayed brightly on the luminous holo desk as the main light dimmed around them. Only the N/S cards were visible:

xx

Tx

KT987xx

Ax

AQxx

KJxx

J

Kxxx

"I'm afraid the auction got a little out of hand, counsellor, but it was a Teams match and we needed to score games:

1C - 1D - 1N - 3N. Not a classic auction I'll admit but it was tense. When dummy went down I was overcome with a mixture of anger and disappointment. Both I and partner appeared to have over valued our assets. I was cross with both myself and partner and that we had both let our side down. I felt ashamed. A Club was led, I took the Ace, led a low Diamond, but all was hopeless. We were way off. To make matters even worse, when we scored up we saw the opponents had been in the same contract on the same lead and actually made it! How can I stop myself from making these appalling errors of judgement, Counsellor?"

"The error you have made is not a bridge error, Lieutenant. And it is easily within your power to rectify the problem. You said - and I believe you - that when you first saw dummy you were angry and disappointed. You were under pressure in a tight situation. The problem, Worf, is that you let that pressure affect you and your judgmental processes."

"I agree. But what can I do?"

"The first task is to rid oneself of unnecessary tension. You must actively relax. When dummy goes down you are allowed One Minute's thinking time. Use it. Relax your feet; your knees; your solar plexus; your shoulders; un-frown your forehead. Breathe slowly and calmly. Now think about the hand and the problem you face. Ignore the opponents. Focus. As you can see, in order to have even the slightest chance of making this edgy contract the Diamond suit must behave. Once established, you can only get to it with the Ace of Clubs. Therefore, whatever else you do you must NOT play it at trick one. Win in hand with the King, run the J of Diamonds. There is no other legitimate chance. The Ace wins and a Club is returned. Winning with the A you now must play the DK. As luck would have it the Q falls!! You now have 6 D tricks, 2 C's and the A of Spades = 9 tricks."

"That's very lucky, though isn't it, Counsellor?"

"Maybe so, Lieutenant. Play the lucky contracts well and the standard contracts will look after themselves.”

                                    

WEAK OPENINGS

"Watson!" The famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, was clearly in a bate. "Come over here at once."

"Of course, Holmes, of course. Whatever you say," I obliged.

"Look at this hand - go on look at it."

x

Qxx

AQxxxx

Qxx

"Er ye-es, I remember. I opened 1D did I not. Was I remiss in some respect, Holmes?"

"Not at all Watson. The 1 D opening is mandatory. But what exactly was your plan, assuming I made a normal response below 2D?"

"Well, er naturally, I was going to re-bid 2D: weak-ish with a 5+ suit."

"Capital, Watson, capital." His eyes turned to me and glinted steel. "But you didn't Watson. Did you?" There was a soft breath of menace in the air. "You re-bid 3D. Didn't you? Very naughty."

"But the opponents bid, er, it got too high, oh Holmes I had to do something!" I sat heavily on a chair in misery. What had l done to deserve his opprobrium this time?

"The bidding was thus, Watson, was it not?

1D - 1S - 1NT - 2S - ???

At which point you rebid 3D. Not 2D, which, as you have previously pointed out, is the limit of the hand in bidding terms from your point of view."

"But Holmes" I went on the attack: "They bid 2S! I couldn't bid 2D! You see?" I felt pretty dam pleased with myself I can tell you. His voice was soft, silky and precise:

"I believe Watson, that you just admitted to me that you couldn't bid 2D in the auction as that spot had been bypassed by aggressive opponents. In which case - as you were unable to bid 2D - can you please tell me why in heaven's name you felt able to bid AT ALL?" His gimlet eyes pierced mine from two inches.

"If as you say you can't bid 2D then you can't bid. Your bid has been taken away. So just PASS! Why make up bids out of thin air? Why pretend to values you do not possess? And most crucially, why mislead partner? Why cause partner to make unwise bids based on incorrect information that result in -800? Hmm?"

I now saw that Holmes was right. He usually was…

Plan your re-bid. If events overtake your plans - PASS. Never ever forget that you have a partner and do not try and bid for them: just bid your hand. At the right level. Then partner will know what to do.

RISING DAMP

“Why do we play this impossible game, Miss Jones?”

“Oh but Mr Rigsby, I thought you enjoyed the gentle intellectual tussle and the meeting of minds?”

“Oh I do Miss Jones, indeed I do, most certainly. There’s nothing I enjoy more than a meeting and a tussle.”

“It’s so much about margins, Mr Rigsby. You mustn’t let Alan and Philip wind you up so. Look at the board where you played in 2S and made 11 tricks. They laughed at you for not even being in game, didn’t they?”

“It doesn’t affect me Miss Jones, oh no. Water off a duck’s back. Anyway there was nothing else I could do, and you couldn’t bid.”

“Well, actually, there was something else you could have done…”
“Oh? Really, Miss Jones? And what was that then?”

“Well, you see, Alan opened 1N, you bid 2S then All Pass. It could have been so different:

AQ863

AQJ8

A

J73

754                                                J92

K2                                                653

QJ86                                                K93

AK86                                                T942

                        KT

                        T974

T7542

Q5

You made +200 for 11 tricks. But see what happens if – instead of bidding 2S – you Double.”

“But why would I do that Miss Jones?”

“So that your partner can tell you have a good hand. So you can possibly take them for a nice juicy penalty. You’d like that wouldn’t you Mr Rigsby.”

“I certainly would Miss Jones, oh yes, I certainly would. Please continue.”

“After 1NT all simple overcalls of a suit promise LESS than 15 HCP, let’s say about 8 -14; and all Doubles in that position promise 15 or MORE. The Double of 1NT is not like a Take-out double of a suit. It is primarily suggestive of penalties. If you start with a double, Philip, in the East seat, has really no good bid to make. (Unless they’ve agreed some sophisticated defence to your double). I should probably pass and then Alan also has no sensible bid now. You lead a low Spade, I win with the K and then I have to think. Instead of lamely returning a S at trick 2, I look at dummy and see the H suit looks empty. I’m probably never getting the lead again so I must make my move now.”

“Oh yes, please do Miss Jones..”

“I return the HT, trapping Alan’s HK under your AQJ8, you cash the rest of the Spades and the DA giving us 10 Tricks. Doubled! Alan is now 4 Down Doubled for 800! Better than 200. Better even than if we had bid the game for 450.”

“But what if they do start bidding something? They might end up in 2C?”

“In which case with your big hand you Double again. This time they only go 3 off for 500. Still better than any game we make.”

“But what if the Vulnerability’s different?”

“If they are Vulnerable we now get 1100 or 800. Even better!”

Miss Jones is right – as usual. And even if you’re Vulnerable and they’re NV you still do better getting 800. Remember: after 1NT: – X shows any hand 15+.

DEFENDING : LEADS

"Defending is tough, Jim - real tough." Davy Crockett, King of the wild frontier, was taking time out from defending the Alamo to discuss his favourite game with Jim Bowie. "Sometimes you gotta have eyes in the back of yer head."
"You gotta see through the back o' those darn cards n' all, Davy," said Jim, carefully polishing his long weapon.
"The hardest bit," drawled Davy, "is the dang openin' lead. The helluva thing is you got no idea what's right."
"Uh, yeah, well…" interrupted Jim, "Though you do got the auction, Davy. You kin learn good from that. What the shapes of declarer's hand might be an' all sorts innneresting stuff like that."
"True words, Jim, true words indeed. Which is why you should always pay very close attention to an auction, even if you ain't involved in it. While they're bidding themselves stupid to their cosy little grand slam or whatever, you need to be startin' up a plan of attack even before the auction is over. Listen to it. Study the hell out of it. Git yerself all prepared and ready - then Bam! Attack!"
"Then you gotta make that choice - the Opening Lead." Jim grew serious. Davy's brow furrowed.
" That is why, Jim Bowie, you gotta learn, or at least be familiar with, the table of standard leads. Thataways, dang partner will at least, mebbe, have some dang idea of what yer doin' and why yer doin' it. 
First, decide from the auction and your holdings the best suit to lead. THEN, decide which card is "right":
1) Top of a sequence.
2) Top of a doubleton
3) Middle from 3 small (MUD)
4) 4th best -  FROM AN HONOUR!!!!!
5) 2nd best from rubbish
6) Bottom of 3 to an honour
You may still be leadin' blind in the pitch black to a deaf partner, but, hey - you tried…and you did the right thing."

STAYMAN vs TRANSFER

As you know, after an opening of 1NT you should use the conventional responses of 2C (Stayman) or 2D & 2H  (Transfers). But which one? And when? To keep it simple:
1)   With only 4 card Majors use 2C - Stayman.
2)   With 5+ card Majors use 2D/2H - Transfers.
It really is that simple. You will either follow these bids up with a PASS (10 or less HCP), or an invitational 2NT (11-12, 5 card Major), an invitational 3 Major (10 - 12, 6+ card Major) or the game bids of 3NT (13  - 17 5cM) or 4 Major (13 - 17 6+cM). With 18+ you should be slamming. This structure is fairly immutable and needs to become second nature.
The responding hands that tend to be problematic are those that have 5 - 4 in the majors and are weak (less than 10). Now what? If you Stayman (2C) and  partner comes back 2D (they always bloody do!) what then? What do 2H or 2S mean? Even worse is when you have a GOOD hand, 5-4 in the Majors, you bid 2C and hear 2D. Now what does 3H or 3S mean? To be fair, there are complex agreements that cover these hands but they're not really necessary. What you do is with game-ish hands you transfer into the 5 c suit and then bid the other one. But what do you do with a dog like this?
Qxxx
Qxxxx
Kx
xx

When partner opens 1NT they will (mostly!) have either 2, 3 or 4 H's. Three possibilities. Two of which give you the longed for 8 card fit. So you have a 66% chance of being OK when you transfer. In Bridge terms this is almost perfect. Yes, sometimes partner will have 2 H's and 4 S's. This probability is about 10%. Not worth considering. So with the above example ALWAYS transfer into the 5 card Major and then PASS. Don't think about it - do it. KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid)

A DIGRESSION
It is a principle of faith for me that I will always open 1NT with ALL 5332 shape hands with 12-14 HCP. Even if that 5 card suit is a Major. Every time. I would urge you all to do the same. Every time. With one tiny exception: if your major suit looks like this -  AKQJ10, you can open it and re-bid it. But do let me know when you get this 12 - 14HCP, 5332 hand. It is phenomenally rare. 2%? of 60 trillion? Nah, you do the math...

BREAKING TRANSFER - NOT BAD!

Eeyore was beside himself with rage. Not that you'd have noticed. He stood silently alone in the sun-dappled clearing, his head droopt, his tail slightly swishing. It was this swishing that alerted a passing Christopher Robin to the fact Eeyore was disconsolate. After the usual pleasantries, the boy enquired of the donkey the reason for his anger.

"Everybody was in 4S making 10 tricks. Only I, Christopher Robin, I, Eeyore, made 11 tricks!"

"But Eeyore that's brilliant! How clever of you!"

"Yes, I found a rare inverted Double Squeeze operated at trick 11, after they failed to attack dummy's entry to the Menace at trick 3." Eeyore intoned morosely.

"Really?" said Christopher Robin, seriously none the wiser. "But didn't that overtrick give you a Top?"

"It would have done, it would have done." Agreed the donkey solemnly. "Were it not for one vital fact you have overlooked Christopher Robin."

The boy scratched his head. "And, er, what was that?"

Eeyore fixed Christopher Robin with a baleful glare - "We were only in 2 Spades!!!" The boy sank to the ground, crossed his legs and said comfortingly: "Ok, tell me what happened."

"I opened 1NT, Owl transferred with 2H, I bid 2S and then he passed, quite reasonably, with this:

AJxxx

x

Qxxx

Qxx

I had 14 HCP and 4S with him, no wasted H values and the game is cold for 10 tricks. What did we do wrong?"

"Well, nothing really, I suppose. But there is something to be considered. When - and ONLY when - you, as the NT bidder have 14HCP and 4 card support, instead of lamely bidding 2S, you can BREAK THE TRANSFER by bidding 3S! Now partner can re-value their hand in the light of this important information and bid on if it's right to do so."

"But what if partner has a pile of rubbish and was only transferring to get out of 1NT? Aren't we now too high?"

"Possibly. But rest assured that if partner does have rubbish, then the opponents have something on; and, whatever it is, they're going to find it mighty difficult to either double you or suddenly bid a minor at the 4 level out of nowhere. Yes, maybe 5 times out of a 100 it'll go Paridiae up, but that's nothing."

"Well, very interesting. I must remember that in future. Oh, and - Christopher Robin - thanks for pointing out it was all my fault. I do feel sooo much better now. When you start in the depths of despair how good to plummet further. Do you know a tall cliff nearby? Maybe I could toss myself off..."

WHAT'S IN YOUR HAND...

"Now then, chaps, listen up!" Said Captain Mainwaring to his eager squad. "This afternoon we shall have Hand Evaluation. This is how we work out how good our hands are."

"There's nothing wrong with my hands, so they tell me..."

"That's quite enough smut Walker. We're here to discuss the finer points of the Game of Bridge, not your pathetic fumblings behind the bus stop."

"How do you know about that, Sir?"

"I have my spies Pike. I have my spies. Anyway, where were we?"

"Behind the bus stop, I think Sir."

"Wilson! Pay attention. All of you. Now, there are three main parameters for the evaluation of what we hold in our hands: 1) High Card Points (HCP) 2) Suit Length 3) Suit shortage. All three can carry equal weight when we make our decisions. When you first pick up a hand you are inclined to add up the HCP and see whether or not they add up to 12 or more so you can open the bidding. Alternatively whether or not they add up to 6 or more so you can support partner if they open the bidding. But just as important is the length of the suits you hold:

AJxxxx

Kxx

Qxx

x

This hand is worth only 10 HCP so you might PASS. But this would be to ignore the value of the extra Spades. You have a 6 card suit, so you should add 1 point extra for each card more than 4 in a suit. So, in this case, you can add an extra 2 DISTRIBUTION points(DP). Now you have a total 12 points (10HCP + 2 DP) and should open 1S."

"But what", said Godfrey, "Should I do about my shortage?"

"Get it seen by a Doctor mate..."

"Walker! That's quite enough out of you. A perfectly reasonable question, Godfrey. After an 8 card fit has been found between the two hands they should both start to add extra SHORTAGE points (SP). But be careful because what you add depends on whether you open or respond. As responder you should calculate VOID = 5, SINGLETON = 3, DOUBLETON = 1. But if you are the Opener you should add fewer: V = 3, S = 2, D = 1.

Remember, you must adjust the evaluation of your hand as the auction proceeds to allow for these extra points. And as it proceeds, your hands will be going up and down.."

"I thought you said we'd had enough smut..."

MORE OVERCALLS

Spock jumped as the Klingon warrior banged his fist on the blue plasti-form table.
"You tell me to compete; to be aggressive; to overcall with thin values; now suddenly you get all cautious and tell me NOT to overcall with this hand. What's the truth?"
Spock considered the hand under scrutiny on the integrated Bridge visi-display:
xx
Qxx
Qxxxx
AKx
"So, you were Vulnerable, they were not, RHO opened 1S, you overcalled 2D, LHO made a negative Double, both partner and RHO passed and you went for -800?"
The Klingon snarled his assent. "At least everybody else did the same with my hand - with different results, I admit."
Spock considered the hand carefully. "There are three main reasons why you should overcall. 1) To obstruct. 2) To steal. 3) To suggest a lead."
"I understand all that." said the Klingon firmly. "What I don't get is why it was so wrong this time."
"Consider first the Vulnerability. This is crucial. They were Not Vul but you were. Even 1 down doubled is -200. Overcalls at the 1 level can be made on thin values - especially when Not Vul. However the 2 level is hugely different. When you go into battle you first make sure you have the weapons and armour you need, with your phaser set to 'KILL', don't you?"
"Oh yes." murmured the Klingon.
"So why would you go into battle with this deeply useless scrappy awful little Diamond suit? You don't want partner to lead it and you neither obstruct nor steal. In fact, you stick you head up and get it blown away. Why? Because you were not enough armoured. When you overcall VULNERABLE at the 2 level you need a much better suit - AKxxxx perhaps, and/or a better hand. The hand above is barely, at the very outside, worth an opening 1NT, 3rd in hand, Not Vulnerable. On a good day...  Also to consider is the hand shape - 5332. This a NT shape. If you can't overcall in NT's (15+) then it is almost always right to pass with these hands. At whatever Vulnerability. I might - just about - allow it if the hand looked like this with high cards concentrated in the long suit..."
xx
Qxx
AKQxx
xxx
The Klingon looked thoughtful. "So. If I want to overcall at the 2 level - and we are Vulnerable - I better really, really, really mean it?"
"In the long run, to be precise, the odds favour a 6 card suit with 2 of the top 3 honours."

NEGATIVE INFERENCE

"You see, men" said Capt Mainwaring firmly to the assembled platoon, "when you make a bid, partner can infer that you have such and such, depending on your bid."
"Such as such as what?" asked Pike.
"Such as whatever you bid, stupid boy."
"Such as what have I bid?"
The Captain paused while untold vile and disgusting epithets fought in his mind to be heard. When he had controlled himself he again took breath...
""Are you alright Captain," asked Private Godfrey, "Only you went a bit red then."
"I'm fine thank you Godfrey. Now where was I?"
"You were about to tell Pike what he'd jolly well bid." Said Lance Corporal Jones
"But I haven't bid anything yet. That's the whole point," said Pike smugly.
"It was," said the Captain in a voice of pure cold steel, "An hypothetical bid..."
"I don't think we've heard about them!" said Private Frazer.
"Perhaps if the Captain could just continue...?"
"Good idea, Wilson. I shall do just that. Now, chaps, if you open 1C or 1D and partner responds 1NT you will know, or can positively infer, that they have exactly 6 - 9 HCP. No more, no less. But there is also a Negative Inference that you are entitled to draw: to wit - that they also do NOT hold a 4 card or better Major suit. There is therefore no earthly point trying to find a 4-4 major suit fit later in the auction as you already know this to be an impossibility. Which is the reason why if you, as responder, DO hold a 4 card major then you MUST bid it, otherwise partner will not be able to evaluate the hand properly. It also follows that when partner opens 1 of a suit (ie does not open 1NT!) you can make the reasonable Negative Inference that they do not have a balanced 12 - 14 count. Just be sure your inferences are appropriate to your holding!"
"Blimey!" said Walker, "I met a land-girl the other night and she was like that: negative to what I was holding!"

LEBENSOHL

When partner opens 1NT and RHO bids a suit you may just want to play in a 6 card minor at the 3 level. The only problem is that if you bid 3 of a minor directly it is FORCING. So what's to do? The secret is to use 2NT as an intermediate bid (sometimes known as a "puppet"). This warns partner you have no interest in game. Partner MUST first bid 3C (like a transfer) which you can then either pass or CORRECT to your suit. Partner should then Pass.
This is the basis of the LEBENSOHL convention. It is a system for dealing with intervention after 1NT when you have no interest in Game. It follows then that you can use direct 3 level bids to force partner to bid on.
This is only part of the system, but you should be aware of it as it is very common in club bridge. It also has other uses which are far more complex and should only be used in a practised partnership!
There are also other situations where 2NT no longer has its normal meaning. This is because in competitive auctions, 2NT is rarely a useful bid, as the key is usually to locate a sensible suit fit, and if you have a 2NT (10 - 12 balanced) hand you should probably be doubling for penalties. For instance, after a weak 2 opening, there is a difference between
2S (weak) - X - Pass - 3H

and

2S (weak) - X - Pass - 2NT
Pass - 3C  -  Pass - 3H

The second sequence shows no interest in Game (0 - 8), while the first is a decent (ish) hand and suit. The reason is that the Weak 2 has deprived your side of bidding space. If the opening bids had been 1S - X - Pass, you have room to show a good hand (9+) by jumping to 3? and bidding 2? with anything else (0-8).
This kind of differentiation makes life much easier for partner to make further, correct, decisions later in the auction. And it is of course our prime duty to keep partner well informed and very happy. We cannot play Bridge alone, so we must communicate accurately if partner is to succeed. For partner's success is also our success.

Enjoy

Kit

Monster Mash

We had this  - very rare - monster the other day at the Gazette in Balham:

----
----
AKx
AKQJ9xxxxx

Feast your eyes because you won't see this kind of hand very often. However, you well might, and you should have some idea of how to deal with it. You'll probably find nothing in textbooks, so here goes...
At the table (Both Vul) it was opened 6C! Perfectly reasonable: one loser, 12 top tricks in Clubs.... But the auction then went...
6C - 6S - P - P
7C - P  - 7S - X!
7SX  duly went off 3 for 800 a fabulous save as 7C actually makes (partner having the Q D's!), which would have been 2140! Even 7 off doubled (2000) would have been good for them. So how can we improve on this measly +800?
Looking at the hand again we can see that despite 6 C being cold it only has 17 HCP, thereby disproving that all slams need to have a combined 32+ count! It follows that there are another 23 points dotted around the other three hands. It is also true that if you have a 10 card suit, your opponents may well both have fairly silly hands themselves. They are therefore almost certainly going to join in the bidding themselves. Opening 6C - while perfectly reasonable - does let a rather massive lioness out of the bag. You could try opening 2C - on the grounds that Game is a certainty (!) but they will still be getting into the auction somewhere if they have any blood in their veins. So - what's to do? How can we improve this outcome?
As I said, you only actually have 17 points plus 2 voids. So where are the other points and suits? If partner has them we could get to a possible 7NT. If the opponents have them we don't really want to disclose our full potential too early, do we? What about opening 1C? Will that be passed out? Extremely unlikely. The bidding will come back to you. They WILL be bidding. You will get another chance. By then you should have some idea of what's going on. Plus your softly softly approach opens up the possibility to, as they say, catchee monkey. Take a look at the back of the 7C card. Making is 2140. Doubled and making it's 2330. Redoubled and making it's 2660. Any of these are miles better than 800. Your strategy should be to bid as if YOU are sacrificing against THEM!
1C - 1S - X - 4S
5C - 5S - P - P
6C....
Almost whatever happens now is to your advantage. They pass, you get 1370. They double, you get 1540. (DON'T Redouble!) Most of the time - I venture to suggest - they'll bid again - 6S. Now is the time to hold your nerve. Bid 7C. They might be making 6S. Who can tell? More importantly, you might make 7C. Now - hopefully - you have them. You have sprung the trap. Good opposition may well now bid 7S, and you are back to square one. But there's always the chance you will now be doubled. Still do NOT re-double. It will be impossible for them to visualise that you have such an extraordinary and incredibly rare hand. But if you re-Double you make it a certainty they will bid to 7S because you just told them to. Just make the doubled Grand Slam and quietly write in the score.
This method of bidding weird hands is known as Creeping. It is a standard ploy to get the opponents to feel they have pushed you too far. Instead, you are just where you always wanted to be.

THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

"As I've said before," said Spock, "killing partner is not necessary or helpful. And it ruins the baize..."

"But, but, but.. " said the very large Klingon, dropping his partner, "Twice he didn't continue the suit he led at trick one. We coulda had them down twice. That is not acceptable on my planet. He needs to know my attitude to failure, know what I'm saying?"

"I think he'd rather know your attitude to the suit led, wouldn't he?"

"Huh? Are you implying it's all my fault?"

"Yes that's right I am indeed. You could have an agreement that the card played by opening leader's partner, when not forced to play high, can be an ATTITUDE signal. ie whether or not you want partner to continue that suit when they can. Say partner leads QS against 3NT and you hold 109653 in the suit. If Dummy (or Declarer)  wins the trick, now your card can be attitude showing. The 9 will encourage partner to continue the suit later, and the 3 will be discouraging. Now partner knows what to do. Simple huh?"

"Hmm maybe. But what if you only have one valuable high card to play to encourage with? That's a problem, no?"

"It is indeed. Very well spotted. This is why a lot of players actually play what's called REVERSE ATTITUDE. ie a LOW  card is encouraging, the high one discouraging (Hi hate, Lo like...) In the previous example the 3 would be encouraging. You will of course have to watch every single card partner plays, now won't you? Working out what Declarer has; where's their weakness? In fact, do this anyway: all the time. Otherwise you're only playing half the game."

COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY

I don't see" said Dag the Romulan, "what difference it makes knowing how many of a suit your partner holds. I want to know where their Aces are!"

Spock chuckled to himself. "But what if partner holds no Aces?"

"Then I wanna know about Kings, Queens, whatever. It's all about the big cards anyway."

"Not at all!" countered Spock firmly. "On the contrary there are a lot of situations where you need to know how many of a suit partner has, simply so you can work out how many cards DECLARER has in a particular suit. Think about it. You're defending a slam and at trick 12, you have so far won one trick and need another one to defeat the contract. You now hold  QD and QH, both of which you know to be winners. Declarer leads a Club. Which Queen do you discard? Is it a guess? Do you toss a coin? Is one suit prettier than the other? How on earth can we know?"

"It's always a guess in those situations," said the Romulan. "50 - 50."

"No, " said Spock, "In fact if you play properly with your partner it is NEVER a guess. Why? Because partner should show you the length in each of their suits so it is known to you exactly what Declarer's distribution is, so you know exactly which Q to keep and so defeat the contract. Letting slams slide through is always a disaster."

"How can partner tell me all that without kickin' me under the table? That's ridiculous."

"Very simply. When you follow suit, both of you should always play a High card followed by a Low card to show an even number in a suit. This is called a Peter. Now if you know partner has 2 or 4 in a particular suit, you can see how many you and dummy hold so you can soon tell how many Declarer is likely to hold by subtracting that number from 13."

"What if they hold an Odd number - 3 or 5, say?"

"Then you don't Peter. You play the cards from Low to High instead."

It's a good idea to train yourself to do this all the time - in every suit. So it naturally becomes a habit to count out Declarer's shape. Then you'll never have to guess again which Q to keep!

ENTERPRISE ATTACK

Three weeks out from Arcturus V, Spock was mentoring the Enterprise Team for the Intergalactic Pairs Championships. His message was simple:

"Let us not think of defence: let us think of attack. Attack is the best form of defence.  In any battle in military history the side with greater teamwork will triumph. You must work together with partner - not alone in magnificent but ultimately doomed isolation.

When we lose an auction one of the opponents becomes Declarer. We must not then subside into a world of dreary defence. We must, in concert with partner, ATTACK the declarer. We have one small advantage. We only have to take care of our own hand; Declarer has to work simultaneously with both his side's hands."

" 'Ang on, 'ang on, 'ang on," interrupted a cockney character who only appears in the background of Episode 6 (Mudd's Women)  " 'Ow come, guvnor, it's easier for us who can only see one 'and? I'd ravver see two anyday, know what I mean?"

"But you can see two hands. You have the advantage that you can see one of the Declaring sides hands. The declarer, on the other hand, can see neither of your defensive - sorry, attacking - hands. Therefore you and your partner can communicate in subtle underhand ways. You can pass information, like secret policemen, about what you hold in each suit so you may thwart Declarer."

"I s'pose, " chirped the cockney, "that'd be the Thwart Police, eh?"

"An interesting example of Earth humour. However, my intention is to enlighten you on the Three Paths of Signalling. And these three Paths are: Count: Attitude and Suit Preference. With these three weapons we can wreak havoc against the citadel of The Contract.

That's all for now. I shall be taking a break in the Holo-Deck, but on my return I will endeavour to show you how to walk the Three Paths of Signalling.

Live Long and Prosper!"

ALICE AND THE KING

"So tell me," said Alice surveying the wreckage of the tea party, "When should a King cover a Queen?"

"As often as possible!" guffawed the Mad Hatter.

"Don't be so rude!" squawked Alice.

"Relax. Have some more of the Herbal Tea," smiled the dozy Dormouse.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm absolutely serious." said Alice seriously.

"Never a truer word.." said the Hatter.

"The thing is, one always says one should always cover an Honour with an Honour, when that Honour is led from one's right. But is that always so? Aren't there any times at all when it could be wrong to do so?" asked Alice.

The Hatter, the Dormouse and the March Hare looked at each other quizzically, raised a forefinger to their lips and looking skyward all said: " Hmmm."
"Hmmm what then? What Hmmm? What's with the quizzical hmmming?"

"You see, "said the March Hare lugubriously, "It all depends."

"That's right, so right," said the Hatter. "Everything always depends on everything else, don't you know?"

"There's no earthly point in stomping off like that, Alice dear." Said the Hare. "I will attempt to explain. If declarer has Qxx in dummy and plays the Q you definitely should play your K. The idea is to promote a lower card in your partner's hand - such as the 10 or J. If however dummy's suit is QJxx you should - in general - not cover the Q but wait until the J is played and then cover that. i.e. cover the second honour in a sequence. On top of that you need to be beware of what Declarer's shape might be. A trap for the unwary is this one:

Dummy has QJ10x and the Q is led. You hold Kxxx. If you can see the possibility that Declarer may hold either Ax or A singleton then you should NEVER cover at all!"

"Just what I said," said the Hatter. "It all depends! Maybe I could sell you a Thinking Hat, Alice, dear?"

WHEN TO GET JUMPY

Tigger was jumping up and down. He was VERY excited. The other three players - Owl, Rabbit and Pooh held down the table to stop it being thrown over. All that had happened so far was that Tigger's partner, Rabbit, had opened 1C. This was not normally something to get quite so excited about but Tigger was prone to such emotional outbursts due to over attentive parenting in early life. When the tumult subsided, Pooh passed with the superior insouciance he reserved for really really bad hands. Then an over-excited Tigger bid STOP 2S! Owl peered over his half-moon spectacles and said: "Good hand, eh?" Tigger was about to start jumping up and down again when Rabbit curtly interrupted: "Unauthorised question. Unnecessary information. Disregard." Owl passed with a barely concealed smile playing round his pointy little beak. The auction progressed in haphazard fashion until it became clear to all that Rabbit was void in Spades, who tried to salvage the situation by bidding 6NT. Owl Doubled rather too quickly, but the contract was 3 down Doubled for -800.

"You see," said Owl, "about all Tigger and Rabbit can actually make is 3NT. Your response of 2S was a strong hand (17+) with slam interest. Yet as you can see, the partnership was nowhere near the slam zone."

"But, but, but," stammered a much quieter Tigger,  "I had 15 points and 5 spades. Game was on and, well, maybe slam, but I had to tell partner I was strong straight away, didn't I?"

"No, not really, not at all. If you had had a VERY good six card suit and 17+ HCP then maybe, but even then that may not be the best way for the auction to proceed. As it was Rabbit had no Spades while I - your respectful opponent - had SIX of them."

"But I didn't know that!" wailed Tigger.

"Precisely." said Rabbit. "You had no idea what my hand was. You careered off into the unknown before finding out what my hand was like from my natural re-bid. You cut out an entire two levels of bidding, so it was almost impossible for us to have a constructive auction. What's wrong with 1S? It's forcing - I can't pass - and you also then get to hear my rebid before judging which game - or possible slam - to aim for. There really is no need to go jumping about just because Game is on!"

BID TO THE SCORE

The vagaries of scoring, I hear you call. What does it mean? How does it work? And why? And why should we worry about it?

Why? Because - nothing else matters! Fits, contracts, slams, part-scores, sacrifices - everything is subject to the SCORE.

We sacrifice when we are Not Vul against Vul, because if we go 3 down doubled we lose 500 against their 600+ Game score This is equivalent to a plus of 100.

If we are Vul against NV and we go 3 down doubled we lose 800 against their 400+ game score. BAAAAD. A minus of 400.

Tactics tactics tactics.

Playing Rubber Bridge you are Game and 60 and you pick up this:

AQX

KJX

AJXX

KXX

There are 2 passes to you. What do you bid? 1D, rebidding 2NT is the classic "book" bid. But look at the score. You only need 40! That's 1NT. So bid it. Yes bid 1NT at that score. At teams or Duplicate it would be a simply terrible bid (because Game might be on), But at Game and 60 it's a great bid. Close out the rubber. Slam is a distant paradise to be ignored at all costs. The bid is determined by the score. Not your hand.

Ax

KJ10xx

AJx

KJx

A Heart is opened on your right. You're playing Duplicate. What do you bid? The book might say 1NT (showing 15 - 17 and a H stop) But how does Vulnerability affect your strategy?  Consider if they are Vul and you are not, then the best you might make is 3NT for 400. However, what if you PASS, and then partner re-opens with a Double? Now if they go 2 off you make 500! Bit of a pipe dream maybe. But it happens. On the other hand swap the Vulnerability and everything else changes as well. Now if you pass and partner doubles, they go 2 off for only 300, whereas you might make 600 in 3NT. The score again determines how you bid; what your strategy might be. Honestly, the only thing that really, really, really matters is - THE SCORE!

The Dodgy 3NT

Dear Marge,

Please may I take advantage of your agony column to solve an embarrassing personal problem?  My partner and I disagree about whether it is ever possible to respond 3NT with less than 13 HCP after partner opens 1NT. Please help as I am at my wit's end. Also, should one have sex on a first date?   Confused of Caerphilly.

Dear Confused of Caerphilly,

Please be assured this is a familiar problem and nothing to be ashamed of. It depends on whether or not you expect to make your contract most of the time. Partnership confidence is based on this common assumption. So from that point of view my answer is NO. However things really aren't quite that simple, as you might expect. There may be tight situations in a Teams Match where you might decide it could possibly be a good idea to raise to 3N with as little as 11 HCP, just in case it makes. This action is well below 50% but, if it makes, you might get a winning game swing from the hand. On the other hand if it doesn't make you're going to need an understanding and sophisticated partner who realises what you were attempting and why.

Alternatively, you might hold a weakish hand, 9 - 10, but with a good six card minor (AKJxxx) and precious little else. Now a "psyche" to 3N might pay good dividends if you get lucky and 9 tricks roll in. But again partner will need to understand the perfectly reasonable logic. My advice is: don't try this with new partners. Build confidence with them first and then, maybe later, introduce these more advanced ideas gently in casual conversation.

There is (at least) one other situation when a Bid of 3N is called for when you are obviously under-strength:

x

x

AQxxxxx

Kxxx

After 1N - Pass - ??? Do you try to take out into your 7 card minor at the three level and hope to make it? Do you pass and hope partner makes sneaky overtricks? Or bid 3N on the off-chance of it making? The answer is in the hand. Ask yourself: (1) "where are all the other points and all those major suits?" Answer: on your left. (2) "Are they itching to bid them?" Answer: yes. (3) "How can you make life as difficult as possible for them?" Answer: bid 3NT. You could also try 5D, which would have the same effect, but does not leave open the opportunity for them to guess wrong about which major to be in, and for partner then to promptly double them. Also if you don't steal 3N, you can always rather sheepishly bid 5D later, wait for them to Double you, then pray you make it!

As regards the other problem - what are you doing on Friday?

A MINOR PROBLEM

“But Jeeves, Old Man, you really make the most frightful hoo-hah over nothing.  We bid to 5 Clubs and, thanks to some rum nifty card play by yours truly at the death, we even made a jolly old over trick, what?”

“Ah well you see Sir, it’s really not quite as simple as that.  Is it?”

“Isn’t it?  Does the Wooster brain miss something?”

“Quite possibly, Sir.  Let us peruse the score.  5 Clubs plus 1, Vulnerable, makes 620. Did Sir happen to see the traveller for the board at all?”

“Crikey, no. Really dull.”

“It makes, however, interesting reading. We obtained a complete bottom on the board.”

“Zero? Big fat zero? All my hard work and snazzy declarer play availeth nought?”

“Everyone else was in 3NT sir, you see. If they had all been held to 9 tricks they would indeed have done worse than us with only 600. But in fact everyone made at least one overtrick for plus 630, and some even made two for 660. So 620 – however admirably played, did indeed availeth nought, as you so accurately put it.”

“That’s really not fair. I make 12 tricks and get a lower score than those who only made 10! That’s outrageous. I am speechless.”

“If only sir. It is to do with the value of the first trick at NT, which is 40,  while subsequent tricks are 30. Even major suit tricks are only worth 30 each, while a minor suit trick is worth only a paltry 20. As you see sir this will heavily affect the score line It will also therefore heavily affect the contract one should strive to be in. Obviously, it is the better scoring contract we should always aim at. Not the safest.”

Defend Or Die

“Watson! Over here,” said master sleuth, Sherlock Holmes. His eyes burned with unnatural fire. I edged to the table and saw him peruse thirteen cards spread on rich maroon velvet:

6 4 2

10 9 5 3

Q 3

J 7 5 2

“Familiar, Watson?”

“Erm, er, yes, er, sort of. Yes.” I blustered.

“A hand held by you only yesterday at Madame Fifi’s.”

“Just so. A fine evening, by the way…”

“Possibly. The opponents edged to 3NT. I led a small Diamond, you played the Q, Declarer winning the Ace. Do you recall further events?”

“Indeed I do Holmes…”

“No, Watson – about this hand. Concentrate.”

“Ah. As I now recall, Declarer rattled off winners and actually made 6NT in the end, a pretty bad score for us. A deeply boring little hand I’d say. What’s the purpose of it?”

“The purpose is that, yes, indeed we did attain a bad score, but it was eminently avoidable. Consider the facts: you have a hand of almost no trick-taking potential whatsoever. But this does NOT mean, my dearest friend, you can allow yourself to be diverted from the task in hand; which is: – to make certain Declarer makes only those tricks to which he is, by chance of the deal, entitled to. And no more”
“But Holmes,” I protested feebly, “What was I to do?”

“What you had to do was think, man, think! If you do not hold many cards – where are the other points, eh? Tell me that.”

“They might have been underbid…”

“Do not – ever – take the opposition for fools. No, Watson, if you have not the points then logically I have the outstanding high cards. I therefore am the one of us who is under pressure. I need help. All the assistance I can get so as to determine which of my cards I may dispense with as required. In order to do this I need YOU to carefully and accurately inform me of your various holdings in each suit. They may be of no interest to you, but they are of profound importance to me, and I, Watson am your beloved partner.”

“Oh, I say.”

“You randomly played the lowest card from each suit according to whim and fancy, therefore denying me any small chance of gleaning such information about your hand as I needed. Had you played small from an odd number of cards and Hi-Lo from an even number, I would have been able to imagine the shape of declarer’s hand and so know what not to discard, thereby saving a trick and many Match Points. On top of that, you discarded a low Club at some point, thereby enabling Declarer to make his lowly 10 of Clubs for the 12^th trick. Lazy, Watson. Deeply lazy. Just because your hand is bad does not entitle you to park your brain in the stables. We are a partnership. You must do your work in conjunction with mine. Two needless overtricks were frittered away and an average score became a complete and total bottom!”

“Talking of bottoms….”